MONDAY'S MIRTH

My new girlfriend works at the zoo. I think she’s a keeper.
To the man who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
I asked a French man if he played video games. He said Wii!
What should a lawyer always wear to a court? A good lawsuit!
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
What was the one thing the cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control? His pupils.
Coffee has a rough time in our household. It gets mugged every single morning!
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain? “I guess we’ll just have to make dew.”
Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more de-lighted!

COMMON LOOKING PEOPLE ARE THE BEST IN THE WORLD: THAT IS WHY GOD MADE SO MANY OF THEM. Abraham Lincoln